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| AVA FLYBY LAST POSTED 11-07-07 |
| AVA'S FAVORITES |
Thoughts in words was created as a page to display some of my
writings that were inspired by my experiences from my daughter
Ava's journey. I will forever be inspired, and will continue to express
my Thoughts into Words.
Troy Medeiros
writings that were inspired by my experiences from my daughter
Ava's journey. I will forever be inspired, and will continue to express
my Thoughts into Words.
Troy Medeiros
| Josh Groban " To Where You Are " |
A poem written to mom on Ava's 2nd Birthday Anniversary- 7/14/06
Mommy mommy, please don't cry
I feel no pain, and I can fly
No broken wings to hold me down
Which is why my feet never touch the ground
Remember me now, not the way that I was
It's not you without me, it will always be US
I'm without limitations, and free to roam
And although you can't see me, I'm always at home
Snuggling close, all tucked in your arms
Through your belly I kiss the two little charms
So think of me today, as your two year old girl
And thank you for my gift of being the Best in the World..
I feel no pain, and I can fly
No broken wings to hold me down
Which is why my feet never touch the ground
Remember me now, not the way that I was
It's not you without me, it will always be US
I'm without limitations, and free to roam
And although you can't see me, I'm always at home
Snuggling close, all tucked in your arms
Through your belly I kiss the two little charms
So think of me today, as your two year old girl
And thank you for my gift of being the Best in the World..
Everlasting Butterfly July 2005
There are times when our hearts are in knots
The love & hurt we feel for you strengthens us
Giving us more peace than most have in a lifetime
We are addicted to your memories
Knowing that everything we do is for you
That will never change, nor should it
You have inspired us along with many others
To be the people God wants us to be
You landed on earth as a wounded butterfly
Which was nothing more than an angel in disguise
God did not take you from us,
But he simply sent you to teach a valuable lesson to many
So you did, and he called you back
You will be sent to help many more in need
We are grateful of your sacrifice
Just as every other parent would be,
All we wanted was for you to achieve your goals
We wished so much more for you
Mainly for you to succeed in this game of life
But also to live life generously and fair
There is no greater joy than being proud
The struggle of raising a child in this day and age
Is such a difficult task to ask
So when you came into this world
The last thing we expected was for you to raise us
We now realize that we didn't want so much more
We just wanted something different
You have achieved so much more than we ever imagined
Because of you, your mother and I have matured
We see everything from a different view
In four months, you have changed hundreds
Everyone who knows of your story
Has become a more caring individual
So we could not be more proud of you
Just to know that our little Ava is an angel in disguise
Comforts us in knowing that you will help many more
And will forever be our Everlasting Butterfly
The love & hurt we feel for you strengthens us
Giving us more peace than most have in a lifetime
We are addicted to your memories
Knowing that everything we do is for you
That will never change, nor should it
You have inspired us along with many others
To be the people God wants us to be
You landed on earth as a wounded butterfly
Which was nothing more than an angel in disguise
God did not take you from us,
But he simply sent you to teach a valuable lesson to many
So you did, and he called you back
You will be sent to help many more in need
We are grateful of your sacrifice
Just as every other parent would be,
All we wanted was for you to achieve your goals
We wished so much more for you
Mainly for you to succeed in this game of life
But also to live life generously and fair
There is no greater joy than being proud
The struggle of raising a child in this day and age
Is such a difficult task to ask
So when you came into this world
The last thing we expected was for you to raise us
We now realize that we didn't want so much more
We just wanted something different
You have achieved so much more than we ever imagined
Because of you, your mother and I have matured
We see everything from a different view
In four months, you have changed hundreds
Everyone who knows of your story
Has become a more caring individual
So we could not be more proud of you
Just to know that our little Ava is an angel in disguise
Comforts us in knowing that you will help many more
And will forever be our Everlasting Butterfly
MY INSPIRATION
05-30-05
Some people are born with a natural drive and some need to be coerced, but many are driven from a life changing
event. I am neither one nor two, although I have somewhat of a natural drive to perform my best in whatever it is I set
out to do. I take a lot of pride in all the things that make me who I am. I guess I just feel more compatible with
accepting the fact that I am a much better person due to my life changing event. I did not grow up with everything
handed to me, nor would I say we were a particular wealthy family. I worked all through high school, and really did a lot
to support myself. Now don’t get me wrong, my parents did an excellent job raising me, but I was somewhat
independent. I worked for everything I ever had, and I take pride in all my accomplishments. My problem was that I
categorized my accomplishments by material belongings. I guess it is ok to dream, but if you rank yourself by your
bank account, then you are disregarding true accomplishments. I learned so much from what I like to call my
inspiration. My inspiration isn’t money driven or what type of car or mansion I want. It is so much more. It was a
miracle that was given to me from God. Although this miracle was only on loan for a very short time, I have been
inspired for a lifetime. My inspiration doesn’t cause me to be greedy, jealous, or envious. Nor does it cause me to be
self centered or ignorant. My inspiration is what makes me who I am today, which is a better person who cares more
for others than ever before. It makes me want to help anyone and everyone in need. Rather than dwelling on the things
that I don’t have, it helped me to enjoy everything that I do. It is not money that makes you wealthy, but it is the love that
you have for yourself and for others. I will live my life trying to increase the value of myself to others. The better father I
am, increases my value to my children. The better husband I am , increases my value to my wife. The more people I
help, increases my value to those in need. I truly believe that if I live my life in such a manner that I will be richer than I
ever imagined. There are many wealthy people who do not smile, and many who are just getting by that couldn’t be
happier. Just as things can always be better, they can always be worse. My inspiration is the birth, life, and death of
my daughter Ava. Although not all memories are pleasant, I am able turn them into positive motivation. She has given
me the miracle of strength that allows me to take on each and every challenge that awaits me. She is with me when I
sleep and when I wake. Along with every step that I take because she is each and every beat of my heart. She is my
wings, my courage, MY INSPIRATION.
event. I am neither one nor two, although I have somewhat of a natural drive to perform my best in whatever it is I set
out to do. I take a lot of pride in all the things that make me who I am. I guess I just feel more compatible with
accepting the fact that I am a much better person due to my life changing event. I did not grow up with everything
handed to me, nor would I say we were a particular wealthy family. I worked all through high school, and really did a lot
to support myself. Now don’t get me wrong, my parents did an excellent job raising me, but I was somewhat
independent. I worked for everything I ever had, and I take pride in all my accomplishments. My problem was that I
categorized my accomplishments by material belongings. I guess it is ok to dream, but if you rank yourself by your
bank account, then you are disregarding true accomplishments. I learned so much from what I like to call my
inspiration. My inspiration isn’t money driven or what type of car or mansion I want. It is so much more. It was a
miracle that was given to me from God. Although this miracle was only on loan for a very short time, I have been
inspired for a lifetime. My inspiration doesn’t cause me to be greedy, jealous, or envious. Nor does it cause me to be
self centered or ignorant. My inspiration is what makes me who I am today, which is a better person who cares more
for others than ever before. It makes me want to help anyone and everyone in need. Rather than dwelling on the things
that I don’t have, it helped me to enjoy everything that I do. It is not money that makes you wealthy, but it is the love that
you have for yourself and for others. I will live my life trying to increase the value of myself to others. The better father I
am, increases my value to my children. The better husband I am , increases my value to my wife. The more people I
help, increases my value to those in need. I truly believe that if I live my life in such a manner that I will be richer than I
ever imagined. There are many wealthy people who do not smile, and many who are just getting by that couldn’t be
happier. Just as things can always be better, they can always be worse. My inspiration is the birth, life, and death of
my daughter Ava. Although not all memories are pleasant, I am able turn them into positive motivation. She has given
me the miracle of strength that allows me to take on each and every challenge that awaits me. She is with me when I
sleep and when I wake. Along with every step that I take because she is each and every beat of my heart. She is my
wings, my courage, MY INSPIRATION.
| Eulogy |
11-21-05
4 lbs 10 ozs. & 18 inches of perfection. In slightly over 4 months, she has become the greatest teacher I have ever
known. Due to her disease, her quality of life was horrifying at times, but she sacrificed peace to improve the quality
of ours. We truly appreciate everything we have so much more. Taking things for granted is human nature, but
many will be less apt to do so now. It has torn my heart to know that I am not going to be able to hold her here on
earth ever again, but the tear will somewhat mend knowing that she is safe and free from pain. Although I will still
have my nightmares, I will still have my dreams of this incredible butterfly that left her presence known with many
flowers. These flowers have come in many shapes, sizes, and colors. Ava has landed on many, but also has
touched some without physically doing so. From nurses, doctors, friends, family, and strangers who’ve became
family, she has received over a thousand messages of love and support from hundreds of her human flowers. The
most incredible thing about Ava is that her disease did not allow her to fly here on earth, but her beauty & strength
drew so many to her. She has served as a lifelong inspiration to many. I guess that I just wish for one more day to
find out what the experience would be like. Just one more trip to her room. One more day that we have a reason to
go inside her home away from home. Though this will never happen, it is what we wish for. Her room at Children’s
Hospital will always be hers. She will lend it out to many, and will be an angel for every child who enters.
There are so many forms of Ava’s disease, and hers has been categorized as the worst type because it is lethal.
Well I beg to differ. There are types where these children are able to live with this disease, in which there life is
nothing but pain, emotionally & physically. I can not change the fact that she had this restriction to live, but I am
thankful that she wasn’t given the opportunity to live with the so called milder form. Because no matter how hard it is
to know she is gone, watching her live a lifetime of pain would be much more difficult.
Ava now has her grandfather who is helping her to learn to fly, and although I never had the chance to meet my
father in law, I am envious of him. He gets to hold Ava, along with sharing her with her great grandfathers, but then
again I suppose he is envious of me too. So I ask of him, as he asks of me, take care of my little butterfly, and I will
take care of yours.
Daddy Loves You Bubby Boo
| PARACHUTES |
A Poem Written for the Family & Friends who helped us through this difficult time in our lives.
| You are not here to take away the pain, but to ease. When we fall, you open yourself up to lift And to let us down easy. Life seems to be flying by with the wind in our face. When we start to spin out of control, you help to bring us back to where we feel safe. And even though we know you are there I think we do not fully appreciate you until we need your help. But when you are there fully opened, You slow everything down to a calming state We can enjoy the beauty of everything from a different view. You make an overwhelming and exciting experience joyful & peaceful, knowing that one mistake can make things go very wrong. but your support gives us confidence that it won’t.. Because without you we will fall, but with you WE CAN FLY…….. |
THE END OF THE TUNNEL
As I walk into this tunnel of darkness, I find myself reaching out to feel my path.
Darkness appeared without warning or expectation. All angles are a mystery,
none of which are categorized. There are many paths to take, but my path is
predetermined. There is no choice to be made. I must accept what awaits me.
At first I feel as if the walls are caving in, and claustrophobia kicks in. Again there
is no decision to be made. I must deal with it and hope that the contraction will
cease leaving enough room to crawl. Belly down, I squirm and I squirm. It seems
like miles. There are times when I can walk on my knees, but just before I attempt
to stand, I must reform to worming my way through. All of a sudden I hit a wall. I
can not go up or down , and any opening that preceded me has collapsed.
Immobilized, I am losing strength and have become accepting failure. At least,
until the wall begins to crumble. It felt as if I had assistance. An unknown power
has allowed me to continue. There is a small window of light, and seems to get
brighter and brighter. I hope to reach this window so that I can open it and take
the deepest breath. As I continue towards this window of hope, I can’t help to still
have the fear that it will not open. If so, I will attempt to break it and take any
chances that I feel are necessary. Failure is only failure, when you do not put your
best effort forth. There is a slight breeze coming through the sill, which gives
hope. Although it is not locked, the window still will not open. I will continue to use
all reserved strength because with each thrust, the draft seems to increase.
Whether that is just my imagination or hope, it remains to be seen. If the window
should never open, and I am no longer capable to lift a finger, I will except the fact
that it wasn’t meant to be.
Darkness appeared without warning or expectation. All angles are a mystery,
none of which are categorized. There are many paths to take, but my path is
predetermined. There is no choice to be made. I must accept what awaits me.
At first I feel as if the walls are caving in, and claustrophobia kicks in. Again there
is no decision to be made. I must deal with it and hope that the contraction will
cease leaving enough room to crawl. Belly down, I squirm and I squirm. It seems
like miles. There are times when I can walk on my knees, but just before I attempt
to stand, I must reform to worming my way through. All of a sudden I hit a wall. I
can not go up or down , and any opening that preceded me has collapsed.
Immobilized, I am losing strength and have become accepting failure. At least,
until the wall begins to crumble. It felt as if I had assistance. An unknown power
has allowed me to continue. There is a small window of light, and seems to get
brighter and brighter. I hope to reach this window so that I can open it and take
the deepest breath. As I continue towards this window of hope, I can’t help to still
have the fear that it will not open. If so, I will attempt to break it and take any
chances that I feel are necessary. Failure is only failure, when you do not put your
best effort forth. There is a slight breeze coming through the sill, which gives
hope. Although it is not locked, the window still will not open. I will continue to use
all reserved strength because with each thrust, the draft seems to increase.
Whether that is just my imagination or hope, it remains to be seen. If the window
should never open, and I am no longer capable to lift a finger, I will except the fact
that it wasn’t meant to be.
| AVA |
A is for Answers I want God to give
V is for Vanish this restriction to live.
A is for Again this Answer that I need.
The question is Why Ava? Not why me?
V is for Vanish this restriction to live.
A is for Again this Answer that I need.
The question is Why Ava? Not why me?
| A MESSAGE FROM AVA'S SISTER MCKENZIE (5 Years Old) |
| Dear Ava, I wish you feel better. |
 | |  | |  |
| www.EverlastingButterfly.com Yahoo Web Hosting |
